Archive for August, 2016


August 6, 2016

The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of the events or characters to anyone, living or deceased, is purely coincidental.

Fiction? You mean making shit up? Making some shit up that never happened… bullshitting in the hopes that someone else might read it and continue to read after the first few words identify it as shit that never happened?

So, how do you start these things out, anyway? How do you invent a scenario that necessitates the need for your particular flavor of shit that never happened? While we’re bullshitting, I’m gonna shoot for the scornful, jaded sage effect. The person who knows life, and knows you… knows you now, and knows you as you’ll be years later. Your inner thoughts, even. But not a trusted confidante or close friend…. More of a disdainful, half ass mocking, psychic. Legitimate, but just barely- only enough to be a familiar, wise asshole coming from some kinda position of knowledge and authority, with whatever. So with that, I will move on to the obvious next important point to establish here.  You are a fgt if you RIP troll Kira… or rather those who were her friends. And here’s why.
It doesn’t have to do so much with Kira, but more with the environment. This imaginary place in which you became acquainted with her. The internets version of “the meanest, nastiest biker bar in town….” which has brought us into contact, sort of, with eachother… AM. If you are one of those who was still a member of AM when Kira showed up and became one of us, then you are one of the tried and tested die hard motherfuckers. You have survived whatever shit that was thrown at you, and were always ready to scrape some of it off of you, taste it, and throw it back with some of your own added. You showed up once upon a time, under the label of atheism and mingling… and know well enough by now that nobody gives a fuck about atheism or whatever it is that you don’t believe.  The only relevant thing about AM, or any other possible group is that it is a group. And you’re in. You’re connected. One of us.
You, there… edgefgt. You who just doesn’t give a single fuck, and are willing to let everyone who will listen know all about the fucks you don’t give. This is just a stage you’re going through where you pretend that you’re some unique, singular motherfucker out there just doing the damn thang… You aint trying to impress anyone because fuck em… you don’t even care.    Yeah, lol. I’m a fucking psychic, though. A few years from now, you’ll enjoy running into motherfuckers out here who just don’t give a single fuck- that will instantly identify them to you as youthful, stupid fgts whose best accomplishment in life up to this point is proclaiming that they give no fucks.
So back to the point. It ain’t about Kira. Statistics say that it’ll be me, or you, or you, sooner or later. You’re thinking ‘so the fuck what?’ Who cares? This is just the internet- you people aint real. And in a few years, you’ll understand instinctively that you were a fgt when you thought that, and everyone who claims that is also a fgt. Because this group thing, man. You start to see that it’s the internets, yeah, but also that it’s where you picked to be. AM, at least for the time being, out of literally everywhere in the fucking world, “real life” included.  A few more words about Kira, and I’ll put this tl;dr to rest. Her and I were damn near total strangers… I know most of you better by far than her. But I am one psychic motherfucking prodigy, so take note that the following is a true story (as far as any work of fiction can be).  She knew she was gonna check out, not exactly when maybe, but sometime pretty quick. And out of everywhere in the world, literally, that she coulda gone to spend the last few days, weeks, whatever before the universe came to an abrupt end, it was this particular group of fgts. This chick was fairly hot, and she was actually a chick, unlike most chicks on the internets (which are of course, dudes). You think she didn’t have options here? But she came here. As you probably will, or me for that matter. She didn’t post a bunch of shit crying about her situation… she wasn’t trying to rack up a bunch of sympathy or awkward bullshit or whatever.  That’s godless mingle shit. No, this one was just looking to spend the last few with some hard core motherfuckers, most of whom do not completely suck dick.
You getting me? Good day to you.