Always. Every conceivable situation has em.
It’s all about how objective you are capable of being.. and maybe perceptive too.
You know this if you’ve been around long enough, and travelled far enough: If you are flying solo; if you do not have someone you love with you to make the shit you do, or don’t do…. matter – then you are living a diminished life. Bullshit yourself all you want… if you can. We both know that there’s always an ingredient missing from the best meal, the best paycheck, the best day…. Whatever.
That missing thing is another person who truly gives a fuck.. And the only person who is ever able to truly give a fuck about you is someone who has thrown their pot in with yours, all the way; someone who does not have the option of shaking their head sadly and mumbling a few words about ‘damn, what a shame..’ and then putting your misfortune right on out of their thoughts as they turn off the bedroom lights and turn to their other, spooned maybe a bit tighter than usual. In other words, a person who is at all times sitting in the passenger seat. Your win is theirs. When you wreck, you wreck for two. When you check out, there they are wondering how the fuck they are gonna ….do anything at all while they lay there in a small isolated and pitch black corner of the depths.
Without that person, you, and I… whoever… is living a second rate life- plain and simple.
The silver lining……
It comes at the end, mostly… at least it seems likely. In the absence of fucks given, there’s no need to give a fuck. A little regret.. bitterness, maybe… but no heartbreaking despair, nor it’s reflection mirrored in the eyes of the one in the passenger seat as you are fading to black.
Not the shiniest of silver linings, but hey- that’s gotta count for something. And if not.. (and this is the beauty of it): who gives a fuck?
And so it goes, two and a half years later, that I have lost the silver lining which I took solace in. Lost…. well maybe sacrificed it would be more accurate. Threw it right the fuck away. I traded it in, in favor of the gold lining. You know who you are.